Death. Homophobia. Divorce. Blended families. My Brother's Husband, a manga by Gengoroh Tagame, adeptly explores these topics in its 700 pages,¹ and it does so in a way that's sure to leave a smile on your face.
Starting on a somber note at a funeral, two twin brothers, Yaichi and Ryoji, mourn the sudden loss of their parents. Yaichi remains stoic, while Ryoji is more comfortable showing his emotions. Chapter One opens on Yaichi, who wakes up and realizes he was dreaming about his childhood.
A single father, Yaichi gets up and prepares breakfast for his young daughter Kana. After sending her off to school, he begins his household chores and comes to a realization: His dream was precipitated by the anniversary of his parents' death. But he doesn't have time to dwell upon this fact due to the arrival of an expected guest.
Mike, a widower from Canada, has come to Japan to meet his brother-in-law, Yaichi, and see what his husband Ryoji's life was like growing up. There's a lot to digest in that statement, but all becomes clear throughout the course of the book.
Upon their first introduction, Yaichi is uncomfortable with Mike in every possible way. He struggles with some degree of internalized homophobia and is now in a position where he needs to come to terms with Ryoji's death by playing host to his husband, whom he never met. Kana soon arrives home from school, excited to meet their new house guest.
Mike has no trouble slipping into the role of doting uncle to Kana. And for her part, Kana absolutely adores her uncle and can't wait to show him off to her friends. While she initially struggles to grasp the concept that Mike was married to her uncle, whom she also never met, she quickly learns through his honest and up-front explanation. Her father, on the other hand, is a little slower to catch up. While Kana expresses she finds it "weird" that same-sex marriage has yet to be legalized in Japan, Yaichi, internally at least, can't get past the idea of two men marrying in the first place.
The book is filled with quiet revelations such as these. Through Kana's unfiltered, unbiased words and Yaichi's inner thoughts, we see dual-perspectives: Yaichi's private self, which struggles with topics he has long since avoided, and his public persona, which is trying to learn, grow and make sense of everything and present a supportive front, both to Kana and Mike.
It's not that Yaichi is overtly homophobic or that his fears come from a place of malice. Instead, he displays a lack of awareness to what's going on around him and doesn't know how to process new and unfamiliar information. That is to say, his views stem from willful ignorance in an attempt to avoid uncomfortable discussions and relive painful memories. Culture is also a contributing factor, because, as The Guardian notes in its review on the back cover, "gay life remains largely closeted in Japan."
For years, Yaichi has been under the impression that his brother one day just up and left, moving to a foreign country, marrying another man and building a life together that didn't involve him. He couldn't fathom what caused their strained relationship. After all, wasn't he supportive of his brother's sexuality?
The truth is, Yaichi really didn't say much when his brother came out. In fact, he actively avoided discussing it, which led them to drift apart. When Mike begins to relate some of the stories Ryuji shared about his childhood, it triggers memories he had long forgotten. He's on the verge of having an epiphany, but isn't quite ready to confront his own demons.
Only later does Yaichi realize that Ryoji was probably terrified of coming out, and that it took a great deal of courage for him to out himself to his brother, and at a young age. What Ryoji needed wasn't unspoken acceptance, but somebody in whom he could confide and who would offer unconditional support.
A few days into Mike's stay, Yaichi's ex wife, Natsuki, comes for a visit. Though not explicitly stated, she appears to notice a difference in his perspective on parenting, viewing it through a more open mind. It's obvious that, during his journey, Mike left an indelible mark on his brother-in-law.
To me, that's what My Brother's Husband is all about: journeys.
During the latter two thirds of the book, Yaichi sets out on an introspective journey. Little by little, the emotional and physical walls he spent so many years building begin to crumble. Through getting to know his brother-in-law, and consequently a side of his twin brother he never got to see, he begins to face his past. He is better able to see the blatant homophobia that still exists in society, and how he unknowingly contributed to it.
Armed with this information, Yaichi works hard to provide a welcoming environment for Kana. He challenges his beliefs about what constitutes a happy future for her, fights heterosexism in her school and opens her up to new experiences he previously wouldn't have considered, such as taking her on a family trip to an onsen (Japanese hot spring) with Mike and Natsuki.
Meanwhile, Mike's globe-crossing journey brings him the closure he needs to posthumously fulfill a promise and move on with his life, now enriched with the love, respect and admiration of his "new" extended family.
Through his slice-of-life approach, Gengoroh Tagame gifts us a intimate look at the biases that exist against the LGBTQ+ community in Japan, blended families, love and loss. And though these are difficult subjects to tackle, I guarantee you will finish My Brother's Husband feeling uplifted and hopeful for a more inclusive future.
Notes:
¹ The version I bought is an anthology combining two volumes.
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